Dag 19: Most proud moment

Eindelijk, het was zover. Jarenlang gezwoegd en mezelf naar de eindstreep getrokken. Supertrots stond ik er dan, vooraan, overweldigd, het applaus gade te slaan. 

Het lijkt misschien wel een beetje dom of overdreven, maar in mijn geval was dit echt een hele ervaring.

Door mijn faalangst en paniekaanvallen heb ik jarenlang problemen gehad met schoolwerk en examens. Ik wist niet goed hoe en wat en raakte in paniek en zag mezelf bij wijze van spreke al op straat staan. Dat was natuurlijk niet bevorderend voor mijn resultaten en welzijn en dat merkte ook mijn leerkracht toen op.

Ze gaf me tips en leerde me hoe ik met mijn negativiteit en angst om kon gaan. Mindfulness was hier één van de oplossingen voor.

Dat ik ben afgestudeerd in het ASO is misschien niet al te bijzonder. Sinds het eerste middelbaar (eerste middelbare school)  werd ik voortdurend met de neus op de feiten geduwd door leerkrachten en medewerkers van de school: “Jullie gaan geen kans maken in deze maatschappij en nergens terecht kunnen.” Één leerkracht zei me ooit dat ik nooit in het vierde aso zou terecht komen. Dit was eerder een motivatie om verder te gaan, maar op het kiel is dat hard.

We verhuisden, nieuwe school, leerkrachten met veel vertrouwen in me , waarbij ik ook nog eens terecht kon en ik ging ervoor. Veel bumps in the road, maar gaandeweg leerde ik mezelf veel aan en werd me geleerd zelfstandig te zijn en met die zelfstandigheid om te kunnen gaan. Ik engageerde me in het schoolleven, werd zelfs de voorzitter van de leerlingenraad en voelde me beter dan ik me ooit had gevoeld.

Het lukte me. Ik stond er. Trots kreeg ik een bon van de Fnac overhandigd inclusief extra luide smakken. Helemaal overweldigd dacht ik terug aan hoe ik mijn middelbare school startte. Van gepest te worden in de ene school met veel gevolgen van dien, naar het krijgen van een onderscheiding voor geengageerde leerling en prijs van het GO dat ook mijn vriendin Mariem ontving.

Mijn geluk kon niet meer op. Ik haalde het.  Net zoals ons lief Marleentje zei ben ik enorm hard veranderd gedurende de vijf jaar dat ik daar op school zat en ook zij was enorm trots op me. Wat natuurlijk erg touching was/is. 

 

Nu op naar het (voorlopig) laatste diploma! Welke studies hebben jullie gevolgd en waar ben jij het trotst op?

Volgen jullie  me ineens op facebook en instagram en abonneren jullie ineens op mijn kanaal?

Asalamoe aleikoem

Dag dag

 

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